Pippy Rumors...

There have been rumors circulating around the internet that I am retiring from the online community and ending my bid for world domination.

Well, I'm posting here today to tell you the rumors are true.... at least partially.

I am ending my online presence, but I am certainly not wavering from my goal of world domination. If you believed this, I will be promptly removing your left testicle. (If you are unfortane enough to live outside of Ohio, please remove your own testicle and send it to me. Thank you)

It has become apparent that this site has become much to time consuming from day-to-day, that it has detracted significantly from my progress towards the throne of awesomeness. It is this reason, and this reason alone, that has led me to the decision to take my presence offline, and interact more with the real world.

Therefore, I will be touring the world from corner to distant corner spreading my ridiculous awesomeness across the land. My word is powerful online, but overwhelmingly breathtaking in person.

If you do happen to see me in some far distant country, please, snap a photo and send it to me. I'll be sure to post it on this site for all to see.... plus it would be a great addition to your scrap book so you can tell your children, your children's children, and you children's children's disfigured dog, that you once were in the aweinspiring presence of Pippin, the Almighty.