Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Pippy Mail Tuesday!!! #10

WOW!!!

What a busy weekend!

Between the toe nail chewing, self-butt-sniffing and 4 games of poop hockey, I've been going non-stop for days now! However, none of this is as intriguing as the recent popularity that one of my videos has gained across the internet. I did have a few questions emailed to me this week - and I apologize to those that sent them in - but this Pippy Mail Tuesday is going to be a bit different than the usual. I'll explain in a little bit.

First off, it's important that you gain additional Pippy knowledge prior to continuing. You can view the previous Pippy Mail posts by clicking the links below:


Now, like I said, this Pippy Mail Tuesday will be a bit different than those in the past. Let me explain:

Visitors who frequent this site, already know of the video of my hot, ridiculously awesome self; "Pippy, the Begging Kitty".



I know, I know, I know...... you've seen this video over 1000 times now. However, apparently the internet community has finally gotten wind of the video. Recently the "Pippy, the begging kitty" video has exploded all over the internet; in a matter of a few days there are now over 30,000 links to the video which has been viewed by over 55,000 lonely, fat n' smelly humans.

A few notable sites where the video has been posted are shown below:

"Pippy will beg for anything and I mean anything. From an unopened tub of butter to a thigh master (can't have one without the other, right?)-- Pippy wants it. Even if Pippy doesn't know what to do with it-- Pippy wants it. Even if Pippy has no use for it-- Pippy wants it. And Pippy gets what Pippy wants. But it's too bad Pippy never wanted any manners, cuz I didn't hear a single "please" or "thank you" throughout this clip!"
gigglesugar.com/

"No matter what it is, Pippy the kitty will beg for it"

"Here's an odd little cat, with a personal hobby that's definitely unique amongst felines. It likes to beg for almost anything. Again, I warn you of the cuteness content in this video! Enjoy!"
www.c00lstuff.com

"Pippy, the cat who doesn't learn from experience, will beg for nearly any item -- edible or not -- as long as it comes off of this counter. Some of her favorites include cat treats, mozzarella cheese (low fat), Q-Tips, a human hand, an unopened tub of butter, Miracle Whip, a large bag of sugar, a birthday card, a banana, a stapler, a large frying pan, a thighmaster and a screwdriver. It's nice to finally see a cat with some motivation, too bad it has to be so dumb."
webjunk.tv

"Pippy sees something and wants it. No matter what it is."
www.neatorama.com

"Cats Rock! --- ehhh cat blogging..."
connect.educause.edu


So, as you can obviously see here, my plan to take over the world has just reached its first stage. Soon I will be shedding my furry awesomeness all over the globe.

Anywho, due to the recent popularity of the "Pippy, the Begging Kitty" video, this very special Pippy Mail Tuesday will be devoted entirely to addressing compliments, comments and the utter stupidity that has been running rampant on these sites.

The following is a list of quotes gathered from these sites and my responses:

"Brummel and Brown, I totally forgot about that stuff. I will now go buy some at my local market. That was the only good thing I got out of this video."

Congratulations. I'm glad my video could be of some use. Unfortunately, I was hoping you would have also gotten cauliflower ear, pink eye, and a staph infection on your scrotum from watching the video.

*sigh*

Can't win 'em all I guess.


"And as for the cat, I'm sure it just begs on the off chance that whatever he's holding up might have some food attached to it. "
www.fazed.org

You are implying that I was in fact begging. Let me repeat what I have stated in the past:

"It's easy to assume that I was begging in those videos, but really what I was doing was something more along the lines of mind control. My captor - bless his cheese filled heart - incorrectly assumed that his actions caused me to beg for whatever object he possessed. What you really were seeing, and he was experiencing, was a form of kitty hypnosis.

My goal for the video was to show how easily humans are manipulated by the powerful mind of a kitty. Unfortunately, my captor got to the editing and posting first and now everyone assumes that I am a "cute begging kitty"........." (from Pippy Mail Tuesday!!! #7)


"I can't believe people can be this cruel. The poor thing has to beg to see what he has. The owner should stop torturing it and keep everything on the floor so the poor thing doesn't have to beg."

hahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaa. You said "owner"!! This is humorous all by itself.

I think you give the male captor much-to-much credit. While it heartens me that a human - albeit hideously idiotic - can be concerned about the cruel, tortuous effects of 3 minutes and 50 seconds of "begging" on the fragile kitty mind, I think your yogurt-filled brain obviously failed to realize that I was fully in control in this video.


"I wonder if it would beg for razorblades and fire ants?"
www.fazed.org

I wonder when you'll realize that eating your own poop is both disgusting and unhealthy.


"I've had 2 tuxedo cats that have been taught to play a mini piano.
One knew instinctually. One learned in 2 days.
Cats are awesome.
AWESOME! "
www.fazed.org

Cats are awesome and coincidently, I'm ridiculously awesome. Obviously you're proud of the intelligence of your tuxi-kitties. However, playing the mini-piano is both useless and profoundly sad. Teach your cats how to build a nano-computer or fly a plane, then we'll talk.


"Sooooo cute!!! He definitely knows how to get what he wants!"
gigglesugar.com

That's right - world domination.


"So wait - that person is a dude, and not some desparately lonely cat lady?

What led you to believe that the person was a "dude"? I would think that his overly feminine features would not make it readily apparent that in fact she is a he. However, if you're referring to the male captor, he's more properly described as a "D-Bag", and not "dude".


"Sweet jesus, when the frying pan came out I swear I thought poor Pippy was a goner.
I won't spoil the ending though."
www.fark.com

Sweet baby jesus indeed. There is no need to worry though. I readily sharpen my claws on my captor's hindquarters, so if he would have made any attempt at kittily-harm, then I would have left a gaping hole in his soft parts.


"That cats's a fag "
www.fazed.org

The eloquent verbosity of this statement is a shiny example of the positive effects of human inbreeding. Your sister-mother would be proud.


"this is the cutest bestest most greatest video on the intranets!!! "
www.fazed.org

Yes, it is. Now bow down to me in all my glory.


"First-time home buyers were begging us to make them loans because they thought home values were going up significantly, and so they put a lot of pressure on us to make them loans," he said.

That actually works? I had no idea! Well, better late than never. Let's send Pippy, the begging kitty down for some home loans!

While we're at it, I wonder if Pippy can get us some free gasoline at an Exxon station and a few free extra-value meals at McDonalds to fuel the trip down there.
(http://www.haloscan.com)


My influence seems to be spreading. It's interesting that I would show up in a thread devoted to mortages, home loans, and interest rates.

hmmmmm...... this gives me an idea!

"Pippy Industries is excited to now be offering a new, distinguished service.

We here at Pippy Industries are proud to announce that we have recently opened a new branch devoted to banking and real estate!

That's right kiddos!

If your credit rating is higher than 600 and you are under the age of 50, in good health and have never had a mullet, then Pippy Himself will now be offering low interest rate home equity loans!"

What do you think? Good idea?

"and they say cats are smarter than dogs. pftt
/has had both
/dogs>cats"
www.fark.com


Nononono! You've got the equation all wrong. The correct one is:

Cats > Dogs > Humans > impacted fecal matter > You

Got it?


"Pippy also begs for the cock."
www.fazed.org

I'm assuming that by "the cock" you're referring to the human male penis as opposed to a male chicken. Well, my prepubescent friend, much to your dismay, I do not beg for the fleshy rubber hose-like human organ that you have referred to as "the cock". However, I do beg and pray that your mother will remove your left ball on your 13th birthday.


"this may all seem strange to us, but in the kitty's world, kitty has jedi powers.
/not as much stupid cat, as stupid owner. "
www.fazed.org

Finally, someone gets it right.



So once again, that wraps it up for another Pippy Mail Tuesday. Remember, send in your emails so you can be featured in next week's Pippy mail!

by Unknown

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