Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Pippy Mail Tuesday!!! #6

The day has arrived for your questions to be answered.

Pippy is finally prepared to share his limitless knowledge once again with the world!

Thank you for the introduction.

Once again Tuesday rolls around after another week of catnip binging, sleep marathons, clawing at my captor's soft parts, and poop hockey. And once again I'm ready to dive into the questions I receive on a daily basis and select a few to be answered here! I have to be highly selective, because each week the questions climb into the millions**!!

** represents 3-4 questions when converted to human numbers


You may rest soundly tonight, knowing that the knowledge you gain here tonight will forever benefit you.

To gain additional Pippy knowledge, see the previous Pippy Mail posts by clicking the links below:


Also, I would like to apologize to all those that submitted questions which have not been featured here. Please believe me when I say that it's nothing against you. It just means that I thought a retarded monkey could think up better questions than you.

Now on to the questions....

Question #21
Pippy -

I noticed on your myspace profile that you have Fergie listed 5 or 6 times. WTF?

Gary


Ok Gary... Sooooooooo, your question is "WTF"? How poetic.

Assuming that WTF stands for "Why the Fergies", I've already partially answered this question in the past (see the "Fergie, I adore thee" post). As quoted:

"A while back, Fergie decided to show her beaming confidence and dominance by urinating on stage.... There's just something about a human that's willing to mark her territory that really resonates with me. You go Fergie!"

And to further address the question, let me share a screen shot of my pippyspace page with all the other billions of creatures that visit my site:

As you can see, Fergie, or some form of, dominates 6 of my "top friends" spots. You can say I'm bit "obsessed" with this human. In fact, every night I quietly make a little wet spot on my captor's pillow in honor of her.

To Fergie:

If you were here right now, I would hump your leg, bite you toes, and bunny kick your face.

I truly adore thee.


Question #22

Pippin -

 So, i guess the time has come for me to start using this site. I can resist it no longer! I wandered into your profile and well, I liked what I saw.. :p Sooo my name is Diane. I think we should be friends, cause you seem pretty fun, and possibly cute! (it's everso tough to tell in this digital world :) anyway, i'd go on and on, but I wanna get a response from you.. You should check out my other page on this other site. Then maybe we could chat sometime! you know what they say.. looks wins over the eyes, but personality wins over the heart.. haha..I would love to meet you and get a little closer, if you know what I mean ;)

take care,
 Diane


Ok humans: quit trying to have internet sex with me. I'm a cat!

I really don't know what to say to this rambling garbage, other than to show this kitty picture that is completely and utterly unrelated.


Discuss amongst yourselves.


Question #23

Good Sir Pippy,

Being of royal blood myself I normaly do not commune with common folk. Are you perhaps of royal blood and if so from whence do you hail? If not, I have been known to go slumming on occasion but rarely with those whom are not...umm...intact.

Your Royal Naked Highness, Queen Tina Tiny Exoticat Elizabeth III currently captive in Ann Arbor, Michigan formerly of SphynxShire, England

I'm truly honored to be graced by your question, your highness

.... however, that last part was... how do you say... TMI

Well your RoyalnakedhighnessqueentinatinyexoticatelizabethIIIcurrentlycaptiveinAnnArborMichiganformerlyofSphynxShire England.......

*whew*

That's a mouth full. Well, to prevent a spontaneous hairball, why don't I just call you "Your Royal Nakedness" instead. Flows a little better.

Anywho, Nakey, to answer your question; No, I am not of royal blood, at least not in the traditional sense. In fact, I have little knowledge of my parents, their background, and their whereabouts. When the humans tore me away from my mother's embrace in exchange for a pack of menthol cigarettes and a 40 of Olde English, I had little time to learn our family history.

All I can do with my incredible intelligence is draw some conclusions based off who I am today.

Let's review the facts:

1) I'm hot
2) I'm a genius
3) I'm awesome... ridiculously awesome
4) I can jump higher than Michael Jordan on crack

Based on these 4 undeniable facts, I would have to conclude that my mother was a lion and my father was Hulk Hogan.

Let me illustrate:





So in summary, I may not be of royal blood, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm royally awesome.



So once again, that wraps it up for another Pippy Mail Tuesday. Remember, send in your emails so you can be featured in next week's Pippy mail!


by Unknown

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