Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Pippy Mail Tuesday!!! #9

What? No introduction this week?


Well I guess that's just fine considering this week I don't have a lot of time. I've recently become highly interested in the screen leading out to the porch, and I need to get back to sharpening my nails on it. So let's dive right in to Pippy Mail!!

To gain additional Pippy knowledge, see the previous Pippy Mail posts by clicking the links below:


Now let's get on to the questions!!!

Question #32
Pipsters!

You're a cute kitty!!

I was wondering if you have a favorite toy or a favorite game you like to play?

- Melissa of Covington, KY

Wow Melissa, this is actually a difficult question to answer definitively. There are so many great toys and games to play!

I mean, between my favorite plastic milk ring, playing "Chubby Bunny" with a large ball of cotton, and playing "claw the captor's soft parts", it's difficult to choose just one!

I must say, though, the Japanese really do know how to make a good toy. For example, this toy shown below was just released at the 2006 Tokyo Toy Show which went on sale in September of 2006!




........

hmmmmmmmmmm

.......

Ok, nevermind.

That thing is a large pile of steaming crap.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you humans? Did some of you seriously answer the question "Why have a real cat, when you can buy a robotic one for 100 times the cost?" with an enthusiastic "YESSSSSSSSS!!" ???

Question #33

Dear Pippin,

I noticed in one of your previous posts you had a few spelling and gramtical errors. Don't you proofread your work before posting? It's annoying as hell.

- Grant

Good question Grant. And I have a follow-up question for you: didn't your Dad put a bag over your Mom's face to produce you?

Get back to me on that one.

However, despite not referencing the previous posts that were filled with spelling and gramatical errors, and despite not pointing out what exactly the mistakes were, I think a congratulations is in order!

Grant, I would like to formally thank you for your care and concern for the details! We here at Pippy Industries are proud to present you with our newest award for showing us your supreme ability in grammar excellence:

We really do appreciate you spending hours upon hours of your exciting life searching through a kitty blog to find grammatical mistakes.

Grant, from the very depths of my colon, I thank you.

Question #34
My Friend, Pippy -

Do you have any thoughts or opinions on our President, George W. Bush?

- Mary, California

Our President?

OUR president??

Let me remind you, and everyone else for that matter, that I am a cat. A feline incapable of voting for a human political figure.

Therefore, I think this is a rather silly question for me to answer. And frankly, I really don't know too much about the human President YOU voted into office 7 years ago. (I've heard the U.S. is a "democracy", so I'm referring to the collective you and not just you, Mary).

The only thing I really know about Georgy Porgy is from the internet. I've never seen him, heard him speak, or even know what issues he cares about.

I have read a few of his quotes, however, and I can say that your President seems very representative of the human race.

Let me share a few:

"I think war is a dangerous place." — Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?" — to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001

"I can only speak to myself." - Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"They misunderestimated me." - Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000



"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." -LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans." -Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —Rome, Italy, July 22, 2001

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, it's probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once ... shame on ... shame on you ... if fooled, you can't get fooled again!" - Nashville, Tennessee, October 8, 2002

"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." — Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." - Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004





You can read more from this great orator here: El Presidente Bushy



Question #35
Pippin,

Where did you get your name? I looked up the possible sources and here is what I found:

> Pippy LongStockings
> Sen. John Pippy
> Pippin-A green Apple
> Pippin, the musical
> Novel - The Short Reign of Pippin IV by John Steinbeck


Thanks!-- Tiny Tina of Exoticats, Ann Arbor Michigan

Tiny Tina - or "TT" as I like to call you - thank you for the question. I see you have sent a picture of yourself about to devour our poor hairless friend, Rufus.

*Sigh*

Although my massive brain successfully predicted that the courtship between you and Rufus would end in utter failure, I am saddened by the violence that has ensued.

But that's besides the point, TT. You were asking about the origin of my name, Pippin, and provided a few guesses. Unfortunately, all the research that you have done has been in vain. I am not named after a fruit, a novel, a musical, nor a senator (fortunately).

Rather, my captors named me after a character originally in a book, and now on the big screen.

Any guesses on which book or movie this may be?

Here's a hint: This is your favorite movie if you have ever played Dungeons & Dragons, Magic, World of Warcraft and masturbate to the underwear section in a JC Penny's catalog.

Yes, that's right! It's Lord of the Rings!!!

My captors named me "Pippin" from Lord of the Rings with the intent of naming my brother "Merry" - the two insanely idiotic hobbit friends.
However, apparently "Merry" sounded too feminine so they changed my brother's name to "Ralphie" and for some God-awful reason decided to leave me with "Pippin".

This is one of the many reasons why I continue to leave smelly brown presents on my captors' pillows.



So once again, that wraps it up for another Pippy Mail Tuesday. Remember, send in your emails so you can be featured in next week's Pippy mail!

by Unknown

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