My First Personal Ad

Something about this weather has got me in the mood... the mood for some sweet lovin'!

Whenever I'm in this mood I become somewhat depressed considering that my only contact with the opposite sex is with that weird female human who has stolen my freedom, and ironically my balls also (I heard human females are notorious for this).

Therefore, I have concluded that the only possibility for a deep and meaningful kitty relationship is to explore the online community.


So here is a copy of my first online personal that I'm considering posting:

---

Name: "Adventurous Kitty seeking sexy time"

I am Seeking a: female cat
for: sexy time and butt sniffing

Height: one human foot + ankle + 1/2 shin = just right
Age: I'm in my prime baby!
Sex: 1/2 male (I'll explain later)
Ethnicity: I'm ethnically diverse; White, Grey, and a little bit of brown near my rear.

Are you a smoker? Only when I drink.
Body Type: Hot 'n Sexy
Religion: Scientology

Do you drink? mostly toilet water
Marital Status: Single
Profession: If being sexy was a profession, then I would be the CEO
Interests:

I enjoy eating cheese, tuna, turkey, cottage cheese, cotton balls, q-tips, and anything that contains metal. I also enjoy the exciting nature of socks, shoes, shoe laces, shiny objects, shadows, my tail, my captors' hair, anything that moves under a blanket, and anything that is easily breakable and/or expensive.

Above all, I love suckling small folds in a cotton t-shirt. Yes!!!

About me:

I am 1 1/3 years old, and I am a full time kitty imprisoned in a den owned and operated by a pair of large, smelly humans. While imprisoned I have come to enjoy the simple things in life; eating, sleeping, biting, jumping, clawing, scratching and running a website.

Children you ask? Presently, I do not have a litter, but I do poop in one... although I have found interesting and fun ways to poop on myself. I have learned many things in life in a relatively short period of time through my ferocious appetite for knowledge. In addition, I love to run, jump, and bite and occasionally my brain shuts down when I purr.

I'm looking for a single, white/black/brown spotted female that loves to have a good time... and by good time, I mean sexy time. Like Bill O'Reilly, I am very open-minded and not too opinionated. If you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear simply to listen to all your troubles, I'll be there for you.... but if you keep on with that incessant whining and complaining, I will probably try to claw your eyes out.

What can I say? I'm a cat.

Hope to meet you soon!